Ah, it seems we cross-posted. It sounds like the conversation with your W went well, and it's a step in the right direction. You are allowing her to have her own feelings while respecting your own feelings about the situation. THAT'S detachment, and it's a great place to be.
I've got my fingers crossed for you. Just remember, this is a marathon not a sprint.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
It sounds like the conversation with your W went well, and it's a step in the right direction. You are allowing her to have her own feelings while respecting your own feelings about the situation. THAT'S detachment, and it's a great place to be.