Ok...I need advice. My wife and I had a break though today. She told me that she wanted to start dating me. When I asked her why, she said that I've been acting differently; I reminded her of the guy she married. So far so good, but I couldn't leave it; I had to start in with the R talk...
I asked her if I had an exclusive. Was she dating others? My bad. Things started feeling less comfortable. She gave me the answer I wanted; she told me that she wasn't dating anyone ells... of course, but what could she say under the circumstances. Right?
So it's Saturday night and she's tired and tells me that she didn't sleep well the night before; She needs to get to bed early... I returned to my house and got an early nights sleep myself... until 1:00 a.m. when the neighbor's party got going and I woke to loud music.
There I am sitting up in bed, wide awake, thinking about my wife and her new found interest in me, her loyalty? Or not? The doubts start flying through my head: what if... was she really tired... is she or isn't she still with OM? And the little Devil on my right shoulder says, "verify" "see if she's home." The Angle on my left shoulder says, "don't be silly" "it's 1:00 a.m., she was tired, of course she's home." It almost came to blows between these two, so I decided to put the matter to rest and drive by her apartment and check for myself. Her car wasn't there.
Now what? If she is still going out with OM and lying about it, should I date her anyway? This would have been so much easier if I hadn't asked her any questions. Why don't I heed my own advice? But now I know she lied and I've made the sitch more complicated for myself.
Yet, if this was a first date (with anyone other than my wife), I certainly would not have asked her if she was dating others. If I hadn't asked, I would not have needed to verify.
I really like the idea of spending quality time with my wife again, but now it feels like I'm in competition with OM. Should I see this as an opportunity? At least now I'm in a position to compete, where as before, I was shutout completely.
On the other hand, is this the "threesome" that CD Bear was suggesting?
This sucks! I went from feeling good about my progress to feeling like $hit.
The good news is that my wife doesn't know that I drove by her apartment. In that sense, nothing has changed. I haven't lost any progress in the DB department. I just need to get my head around what this means to me and how I should proceed.
