Please Help !

[angel61]

I know the grasping for straws feeling.... but if it helps you function also I say just go ahead and relish those little moments. They are actually very telling - lets you know that inside him, he still wants things to go on like normal, and I think the normalcy helps make them feel conmfortable. My H is like that too, and when he plans a party, I go along and let him know that if he needs me to do anything, just to let me know, but I let him take the lead in the planning.
It can't be helped that we keep on trying to discern what our H are thinking, but as you learn to detach it will get less and less.
About counseling - I don't really think it helps, I think DB is better. Thats what I felt after going to 3 counselors. Many counselors just work on each persons happiness, together or not, and if saving the marriage is what you want, then realize its more of sacrifice and much more pain than instant gratification, but ultimately, hopefully, will lead to real happiness.
I myself am not too long in this, have been DBing for 1.5 mos. now, but have seen more progress that time copared to before this.