I left a similar note at our Pharmacy last week. I am livid about it...
But I'm also relieved to see Ryan becoming himself once more. Morphine and Versad had really wiped him out.
I'm feeling very emotional. Almost everything is making me close to tears today. I guess I had held it together so long - now it is close to the surface.
Today I arrived at hospital and told every doctor, nurse and coordinator that I wanted one more day. That Ryan hasn't even gotten out of bed in 2 weeks. I want Physio done on him. So they went for it (but made me promise NO MORE EXTENSIONS!). Ok ok...
Ryan was awake. Grabbing my arms. Trying to pull himself up. Feisty. Spirited. Determined. Stubborn. Expressive - that's my guy!
I remember 26 years ago when he lay in ICU for weeks on end and I prayed for a miracle. Sometimes out loud. And the doctors told me that miracles DO happen. But that they usually don't happen overnight. And I reminded myself of this over the past 14 days as I agonized day and night. What if he never got better? How would I ever cope??? But the little miracles started happening. One teensy baby step at a time.
This was a horrible event for me. I embrace bringing him home tomorrow. I will then be ready to leave the safety of the ICU. Today there were no sedatives, IV or central lines, no airways, no needles, no alarms, no monitors. Everyone was smiling at me. Everyone is happy for me. And I just want to give thanks to God over and over again.
And thanks to each of you for your words of comfort and support.
