I remember being frantic to find a place by myself. I wanted my own apartment so I could carry out a PA with OM. I knew my H would not give me one red cent to help me do this. At first, the OM talked big and told me he would help finance it. I didn't want to be financially dependent upon him or to feel like a "kept woman". But then I thought I would go crazy if I didn't get out of this house. I felt as if I couldn't breathe. So I finally asked OM how much money was he talking about. When he told me, my heart sank b/c that amount would not even cover one untility bill per month. He lived a ways off and at fist talked about coming every other weekend. Then changed it to "maybe" once a month but some months he couldn't. Reality must have started to creep into the fantasy.
The reason I'm telling you all of this, is b/c it was lack of funds that initially kept me home. That is why I advise LBH's to not help their WAW finacially.
Is she expecting you to go on the bank note with her? Don't let her talk you into supporting her love nest. She may pretend the the A is over, but I can almost promise you that it's not and that's why she doesn't want to stay with sister.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I remain suspicious, I am in contact with om spouse she also has a relative that needs a place her sisters is on the couch no extra bedroom. The A maybe over but she is not over the A.
H 37 WW 37 M 15 5 Children Bomb 9-27-10 W EA/Pa she filed 12-18-10
Mortgage would be her name her paycheck. To protect myself I remain suspicious while I hope to save M. My W's behavior plus cell record sugests its either over over or they pressed pause. OM spouse says OM is being transparent if my W had called OM Told his spouse. He was not caught he confessed. So reportedly he wants to save his M has told my W several times it is done. Agrees with NC but doesn't like letters. I can only watch behaviors and see. While preparing for worst hoping for best. I am not suddenly naive on this.
H 37 WW 37 M 15 5 Children Bomb 9-27-10 W EA/Pa she filed 12-18-10
She has to be using your income to get another mortgage whether or not your name is on the note. What company is going to give a woman a mortgage with a part time job? Especially when she's already on another house. Something just does not make sense here. If she really wants out, she should be willing to show you ALL of the paperwork so you can verify what she is telling you. Have your L review it just to be sure it won't come back to bite you.
Also, doesn't she realize she will have to pay child support? You need to research this and find out what you're entitled to. If she's just going to walk away, she will at least need to pay for it. I say that because I didn't get child support while my H and I were separated. That was a huge mistake. He got to live a party lifestyle, not visit or call the kids while I struggled. Even if you won't struggle, paying that child support every month she's gone will remind her what she's doing without you having to say a word.
I am watching how quick she moves with this. I hope some more DBing and the holidays will have some effect. MC Thurs. She has not figured child support. It in her mind would be 50 50 custody but that wouldn't be reality with schedules.
H 37 WW 37 M 15 5 Children Bomb 9-27-10 W EA/Pa she filed 12-18-10
Don't let the "hoping" lull you into inaction. In your case, you need to be proactive. You can still hope that things will work out but get legal protection lined up in case it goes south. By the way, even in a 50/50 split, the primary residential parent gets some support. Look on Mystik's thread for some links to parenting plan examples. That will help you see what you need to be prepared for.
