Its been a few weeks since my last post. Since that time, I have DB'ng and feeling pretty good about my progress. Ive been GAL, spending ALOT of quality time with my son, and doing some positive 180's (church, reading, friends, housework).
My W has been up and down during that time. Mostly she acts friendly, talks to me alot about our S, and occassionally asks me about my prospective job, etc.
Over the last few weeks, my W has started spending money on random stuff (mostly clothes, lotions, and beer/smokes). We have a joint account so I let most of it go, figuring a bit of retail therapy wouldnt be terrible. Plus, she knows I am responsible with $$ and I'm pretty sure she was testing her boundaries in that area, trying to get a negative response from me.
Anyway, after she spent another $200 on herself this weekend, I had a talk with her last night about having separate accounts (something she suggested through our marriage anyway). She said ok but then went into, "Well, what do you want to do with the house?" we are 100,000 underwater so there are no quick solutions. she definitely started getting snippy with me saying, "she considers the house part of the finances." i said i would be willing to meet with whoever and get information on our options but didnt really say more than that. she said that she would start looking into that too.
i felt like i HAD to look out for my finances. I didnt want to stir anything up but i also wanted to protect myself (and the money saved for my son). im just frustrated with the situation and needed a little encouragement.
also, my W has been acting VERY distant from my son. This concerns me more than anything else. She gets home later from work and only sees him for about 1hour each day. Over the last month (since dropping the bomb), she has not made much of an effort at all to spend time with him during the weekends. She acts put off when i have errands to do for myself.
I have taking on 80% of the caregiving responsibilities. its been great because i am getting a much stronger bond with my boy. however, I am worried about her detachment from him. is this common with WAW??
Im just trying to stick to my 180s, stay positive, and be healthy. my W has resorted back to how she acted in college (not eating, long workouts, smoking cigs again, drinking, etc). Im just trying to stay level for my boy right now. Just feeling lonely right now. This is so tough and Im just having one of those days.
To complicate matters, my MIL got diagnosed with cancer and starts chemo tomorrow. I am trying to be as supportive as possible. I ask my W about her M and keep updated. feel kinda helpless there.
just looking for a bit of support today. I noticed that the DBing is great for me, regardless of what happens. Just having a bit of a setback emotionally today after our $$$ talk last night. Thanks for listening!
