What I recently came to realize is that in my case, H was not asking me to change. H was looking for me to agree that the M couldn't be fixed. He wanted me to validate his desire to leave me for OW. I think this was why the better I did the faster he ran. He didn't WANT to see that we could be happy, and he won't want to see it unless he decides on his own that he wants to come home.
Crushed and Zen,
It is interesting that you mention this because it reminds me of when my W pulled out a yellow legal sheet with her laundry list at the C.
When I saw that, I thought to myself for a moment, "Warrior, say Oh, I must of forgot my list at home!!"
But then I realized this is a sick woman here. A woman who is trying to justify her actions. What would I accomplish if I played the same game. I stopped myself fast enough at that moment and just listened to the spew list. Some of the items had some grains of truth, but others were just complete fabrication. None of it was justification for a divorce.
I then realized I was being baited for an argument so she could justify how we can't communicate etc.
Zen, you are so spot on with your quote up there ^^^^.
They will refuse to acknowledge that they can be happy with us until they look within themselves. If they can't or won't look within, they will not be happy in their lives regardless.
