When we were attempting couples counseling, she was so adamant that I acknowledge my errors. I had no problem with this. I f'ed up, but not nearly enough for the M to get the death penalty. When I realized that no amount of acknowledging my faults would change her mind, I slowly started coming around to the fact that nothing I do will fix it.
Recently I was thinking about early on when my H gave me the list of complaints. This was all really pretty easy stuff and like you I didn't feel any of this waranted a divorce. I got strait to work. I aknowledged my part, apologized, and made changes. None of it seemed to help. H just kept getting further away.
What I recently came to realize is that in my case, H was not asking me to change. H was looking for me to agree that the M couldn't be fixed. He wanted me to validate his desire to leave me for OW. I think this was why the better I did the faster he ran. He didn't WANT to see that we could be happy, and he won't want to see it unless he decides on his own that he wants to come home.
