I sorry you've had a sad time of it, and understand perfectly the feeling of H taking OW places that you cherished in your memory as "you and him". Maybe it is time for you to make a tentative 'touch' and see how he reacts. Perhaps with the excuse of Christmas plans. I don't know how you feel about those plans and whether or not you would include H, but talk it over with your children and see how they feel, what they think. Maybe even a Christmas celebration in a 'neutral' corner. A restaurant perhaps. That wouldn't stop you or the kids from anything traditional, but might make the overture to H that he needs to feel. JMO, of course.
