I found out why she rang me in tears a few post back. Her OM told her that he wanted to move out as he was sick of sleeping on the couch all the time. He also wanted his own place and to be surrounded by his own stuff.
Since then, she has let him sleep in her bed with her even when the kids stay at hers. She doesn't hide it from the boys any more. Shame! She is so desperate to keep him, (his car and money), that she has to 'prostitute' herself to keep things as they are.
She is desperate for money - as mentioned in the previous posts. So I took the official route and had the CSA decide how much I should contribute financially towards the boys upbringing.
Turns out, that because I now have my boys for 3 days, every 3 days,(50/50 care), that I only have to pay half of what I was prepared to pay. Turns the screw and gives me more to spend on my boys.
The negotiations for Xmas have been finalized last night. I offered for her to have the boys Xmas morning - but she wanted more and so asked the boys for their preference.
I knew she would do this - and I had already spoken to my boys about what they wanted to do.
Turns out - truly from their own free will - that they want to be with me Xmas morn, and even told her what time she could pick them up, and what time they wanted returning to me on Boxing day.
So by trying to be clever - she lost more than I had offered her.
I did not agree with giving the boys the final say in this, as it would be like them trying to choose which parent they liked the most - this is not fair for a 8yr and 10yr old. Asking their preference is ok, but not making the complete choice their own.
Regards, Gyn
Cause all of the stars, Have faded away, Just try not to worry, You'll see them someday. Take what you need, And be on your way and, Stop crying your heart out.
