The boundary/ultimatum is the AFTER THE LAST RESORT TECHNIQUE. You are not there.
"Sometimes, even after you've done all the right things, your spouse still refuses to stop seeing the OP. At some point, you may start to feel that you can no longer go on this way." The Divorce Remedy, pg. 218-9. This is MWD's description in her own words of the "After the Last Resort Technique".
DBmod... please explain to me, if no boundary has been set about not seeing the OP yet, how can MWD say the above? That makes no sense. There is a DIFFERENCE between the boundary Faith and I are referring to (meaning "I will not be in an open marriage, I will not date you while you are dating other people" vs. the Ultimatum that MWD discusses on pp. 230-231 of DR.
I did not read either Faith nor myself suggesting anything about an ultimatum.
Setting a boundary demonstrates self respect. That is attractive. Allowing your spouse to continue their infidelity while taking whatever crumbs they give you does not. That is unattractive and does a great deal of damage to one's self esteem.
I'm not sure what assumptions are being made about my motivations, but let me be clear that my motivations also happen to be to help Sinclair save his marriage. I have no other "agenda" than that, and don't appreciate insinuations to that effect.
