she tagged herself in a picture of us on facebook today... not sure if i can read anything into that but it is nice to see a picture of us happy on her wall lol
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M 11/11/00 Bomb end of September 2010 Filed 11/9/10
So now, don't push,don't pressure. I would not rush to get a D if you are wanting to save the M. I believe many LBS's do that b/c they want the pain to end, and somehow think getting the D is the answer.
WAW's are very keen. Be very limited to what you say on FB about your busy life. She knows when you are trying to impress her. There is a big difference in trying to impress.....and from being in a good place with youself,being confident, and having a PMA.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Well, I don't want to rush the divorce so that the pain will end. I just want to rush it so that she can be through with dealing with it and can deal with the separation. I could be wrong but idk. It seems like right now she has tunnel vision on the process and is keeping herself REALLY busy trying not to deal with what is happening. Plus fighting her on anything seems to really push her away so I'm trying to show her that I won't do that. The only thing that I can really do at this point is try to make this process as painless for her as possible to show her that I am on her side. Kind of twisted thinking I guess but it's all I got.
I am careful about what I put on facebook... mostly just posting pics from hanging out with people and family. Lots of smiles (that aren't fake!):)
I'm just thankful that I at least have facebook because for a few weeks it was really the only exposure to me that she had. It would have been easy for her to imagine me sitting at home sulking if I couldn't at least post pics and stuff. Plus she sees me commenting on friend's pages and being a decently well adjusted guy. Not the picture I left her with when I broke down every time I talked to her lol.
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M 11/11/00 Bomb end of September 2010 Filed 11/9/10
Just saw her for the first time in over 2 weeks. Needed to use our 3rd car tomorrow so was going to have my sister go get it. But my wife was worried about my sister driving it without being on our insurance (she's pretty paranoid lol) So she told my sister to have me come and get it.
I had to go buy a new shirt so that she could see how much weight I have lost. Wore cologne so that I would smell good. Fixed my hair (which I was starting to do before I moved out but I'm getting better at it!)
She answered the door and was like "let me go get the key." I stayed just inside the front door (DEFINITELY NO PURSUIT!) and she came back asking me what another key on the ring was to. I said that I didn't know and asked her if I could have the key to the backyard and she said "Oh, did you need it?" So, I just said that I was going to have some dirt delivered this week to cover some exposed foundation that we have in the back of the house. She went to get the key and when she brought it back I just said "thanks" and put it on my key chain. I walked into the garage and didn't look back (mostly because I was having trouble getting the key on the ring lol) and when I got to the other side of the car she had closed the door.
So, I feel like I did everything well but let me know if you guys think I should have done anything different. One thing that I regret was not smiling more and it was really dark in the entry to our house but there wasn't much that I could do about that I guess. Was really brief and I didn't want to get into any kind of conversation.
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M 11/11/00 Bomb end of September 2010 Filed 11/9/10
I think you did it just right! Some may say that you should have implied that you were on your way to some event or date, but I think that she would have been turned off by that, knowing you were only trying to get a response. So, good job.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Yeah, it was 8 o'clock on Sunday night so kind of hard to imply that I was going anywhere
She emailed me within 30 minutes of me leaving saying that it sucked that my sister lost her keys. I replied:
I think she has to buy another one. Her key broke so it won't go on the key ring anymore so it was destined to be lost at some point. Did you show your parent's friends the car? I can detail it and put it back in the garage so that they can see it cleaned up if you didn't.
and she replied with:
No, no plan on that yet. I'm waiting to find out how it works from the lawyer. Not sure when that will be. I can ask my mom later if the lady seems willing to pay that much. I have no idea what their expectations are - I guess they have an old Porsche, maybe 60s or 70s so they're bound to know what they're getting into. And they've seen pictures of ours.
Her talking about waiting on the lawyer to figure it out really depresses me but I'm hoping she is using that as an excuse to stall. Maybe not consciously but there really is no reason for the process to take any time at all so anything that stalls it gives me a little hope that *she* wants to slow it down. Hard not to read too much into everything but I have had contact with her for 4 days straight (which she initiated) after almost 2 weeks with none from her at all. Baby steps. Goals I can achieve!
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M 11/11/00 Bomb end of September 2010 Filed 11/9/10
On Wednesday I am taking the dirt over to our house and my sister has come up with an idea that I need to ask you guys about.
While we were married we never set up a Christmas tree. In the beginning my wife would do small decorations but that faded and I always thought that we would just wait until we had kids to do something like that. My sister thinks that while I am over there putting the dirt in I should set up a Christmas tree for her. Would this be pursuit? Is this a bad idea? It would be a 180 but maybe seem fake to her? Idk... I REALLY don't want to do the wrong thing but I think it could go over well. Not really sure... guess that's why I'm here
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M 11/11/00 Bomb end of September 2010 Filed 11/9/10
Im in the same boat my wife and I of 13 years recently separated for a second time. i had an affair about 10 years and another about 3 years ago. wife says she hasn't been happy for a long time and now she says she never loved me, isn't attracted to me and is miserable. dont know what to do im trying to save it
