Welcome to the community. So sorry to hear about your W's illness. Both of you are so young to face such a heavy burden. Has her doctor talked to you without her being present? Some of her mood swings might be related to the treatments, IDK, but it would hurt to ask the doc. I wouldn't suggest it to her b/c women tend to be touchy about that.
It's good that she can talk to you, but she probably has had many thoughts that is burried in her heart that nobody knows. She's having to deal with some very major issues. Does she ever seem afraid? The reason I ask is that she may feel that she's got to grab as much as fast as she can. Finding out that she can't have children and saying that she "deserves" to be happy......I'm sure she's got to feel like she's been cheated.
Are you both still seeing a therapist? If you have one that can tell you how to coop in a R where one is very ill....that will be valuable. But if the M is all that is discussed, it may not be enough. Your M has a special crisis and some couples simply do not have the tools to know what to do.
It's good that you have been her cheerleader. You've shown so much support aNd she's lucky to have a H who is willing to go through the thick & thin with her. Many, many H's will take off when this kind of pressure hits their life. My D has a disease, and the first H couldn't deal and he left. Now,she has a man who I think will be there for her. I just threw that in to let you know that I can feel for you.
I think one thing you may need to be careful about is smothering her with your efforts of cheerleading her on. Trying to "help" too much (if you know what I mean) and checking on her to see how she's feeling too much.....well she gets irritated. Better back away some and try hard not to smother her with your great concern.
I think you need to stay with her as long as you can.
You sound like a mature young man. I hope you are b/c you may see some bad sides of her before things start to get better. Sickness tends to do that to us. She may even feel guilty that she's robbed you from having children. She may feed guilty about being sick and thinks you need a life with somebody who could make you happier.
Get the Divorice Remedy book by MWD. It's an easy read and has great advice.
Read other threads here on the board, and reach out to otheres. Post here on your thread and keep us updated. It does help a lot to come here to talk, plus we a lot of good folkes who have wise advice.
Have a personal question, do the two of you attend Chruch? This is a time that you need to have like minded believers around you...and praying for you. The Pastor or Priest could probably help in the matters about dealing with M issues and how much does her disease affect this.\
((hug))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
