She's mentioned needing closure from the OM -- and even feels a little guilty.
She feels guilty for ending the A with him?
She does not need closure! I've heard that one before.....several times as a matter of fact. It's like a drug addict saying they just need one more fix and then they'll have closure. It doesn't work that way.
I see several red flags waving in the air, so be careful and remember that you are not the one who has to prove trust, she does. A WAW will try to turn the tables and cause the H to feel that he has to prove that she can trust him. What nonesense!
She will have feelings for him for a while. It will be very rough pulling out of that fog and the A addiction. That's why it's called grieving. If she will not backslide and go back into the A, then there's a good chance that she'll make it and work on the M.
But, I want to throw this in also.....you've got to realize that she has to deal with all these feelings and she's not going to have her heart into working on the M. That was what my H kept harping on. He wanted to see me putting 100% into working on the M. My gosh, I was just trying to get movitivated enought to get out of bed every day! I felt like I was doing the best I could just to survive what I had been through. I don't mean that like I was a victim. I was a mess and wasn't able to give very much to my MR except to work at not contacting OM. That was work for me.
Don't ever tell her how you found your information. That is your source and if she should go back to OM, she'll take the A underground and cover up her tracks better the second time around.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
