Need insight

[angel61]

I do see that funny smile as well, but in a different situation. One wwas when my H first told me that OW was getting guilty. I was expecting that he be sad, but he had that weird smile.

The "he is getting weaker and I am getting stronger" phrase for me came from him, not from God. Again, said with a weird smile, and a playful push (i felt that was odd behaviour considering what we were talking about. maybe they are really just nuts).

I, like you, am Catholic. We go to mass together and it always kills me when he goes to communion. At mass today he was so prayerful. At first, I used thought od had forsaken me, te pain seemed so bad without let up. But as time goes by, I realize He listens. Last weekend, I had the intuition tha OW was finally decided, and it was right.

Today though, I am realizing just how bad withdrawal is. I am so effing mad that I again want to just scream and let him go or leave or something. I am trying to decorate for Christmas and he is driving me crazy, not helping, being stubborn, being so hurtful.

But i realize its just signs of the depression and weakness. So here I am venting and hopefully by the time I go downstairs I will be cool again and not on the verge of tears.