Things still seem to be going well with my H. He seems to be quite comfortable and relaxed at my house now and is staying here more often than not. I could tell before when my H was starting to get uneasy and I am not seeing that very often anymore. He is making more of an effort to be part of a relationship being kind, more considerate and affectionate...he is even participating with my kids more. It all seems pretty normal however, I have given up talking to him about moving back in with us and nothing has been done to stop the divorce...at this point, I am not sure I want anything to change. First, I know what happens when I push so I don't want to go down that road again. Second, I wonder if my H moved back, would he just get anxious again and runaway. Third, and most important, my H has never been the most responsible with money and the crisis has not helped that. He owes me money for taxes I have paid for him. I don't want to be responsible for his future debts and if we remain married, I will be responsible. During our marriage, I handled the finances and things were fine but I now know he resented not having control of what he felt was his money. Obviously, we can't go back to me controlling all of the finances. I am torn because I do value marriage and I want to teach my children to value marriage but...??? My H is a good man and I believe he has every intention of paying his bills and paying me back however, he does not budget. Even though he owes me money, it does not stop him from spending the money he has. He may not pay me back for a long time and I don't want add anymore of a burden on to our relationship. Three weeks from today we will be divorced unless we file papers to stop it...I'm not sure what to do.
Mila-My H went into crisis around 4 years ago and I know of no OW. I do not believe there was one but there is really no way for me to ever know for sure. My H always said that an OW was the last thing he needed. As far as I know, his bandaids were work, gambling, spending money.
peace-Yes, it amazing how quickly the time has gone by. In the beginning, I was counting the days, then weeks then months...now none of it matters. I am happy with me no matter what happens with my marriage. I have learned so much through this experience and it has, without a doubt, helped to make me a better, stronger and more compassionate person and for that, I am grateful.
