Is your wife willing to get some therapy to go along with her meds? Sometimes that is necessary.
I imagine you have to have a LOT of patience in your situation, and I bet that you have it. It's hard to go through something like this and feel that there are never any changes. But there are two DB things that I can think of that may HELP get the ball rolling:
1) Do something different. One thing. Pick ONE thing you want to improve. Go slowly. Ask for what you want and then drop it. For example: if you want your wife/your daughter, whoever--just ONE thing. don't pick up the pieces when it falls. How you ask is key: Power packaging (Keeping Love Alive). There's a thread on newcomers explains it.
2) FOCUS ON THE EXCEPTIONS. SOMETIMES, there is a day, an hour or a minute when she does soemthing positive on that list. Focus on that. Appreciate her for it. Remember the work you just did on power packaging--appreciate her or reward her in a way that has meaning for HER.
