MLC or just an EA?

[angel61]

Thanks everyone!

So I guess he really did end it. When he came back from going to see her, which was still quite early in the afternoon, at first he seemed OK, even joined me and D11 at the mall. We joined the rest of the family for dinner, he drank a little too much, at first was talkative then became quiet. Then the next day, we packed, went to an outlet, he still seemed able to stir up enough interest to look at stuff, did not buy anything, then we drove home, and you could sense him gradually becoming more and more depressed and witrhdrawing.
I checked: no calls, no texts since Friday.
He does act , which is good. Today for most of the time he ignored me.
I know I have to give him time, and perhaps staying away is the best thing to do. Good thing I have some business travel tomorrow till Thursday so that will give him time to be alone with his thoughts.

He says that his ending it with her doesn't mean our troubles are gone, and I do see that. But my hope is that without the competition in the long run he will appreciate being here with me again, especially since I have changed in many ways.

Virginia, about my dilemma when he wants to talk about it. It does hurt me, but at the same time, I want to keep our communication going, and also want to know what is happening. I also wonder if given our history of always being open about everything, will he feel rejected if I ask him not to talk about it to me? Will it make his depression worse? I did suggest treatment already and he thinks he is not in full blown clinical depression yet (no loss of appetite or sleep problems, so far, althoug his focus is not good) - which actually makes me think that his depression is lighter, not as bad as when I went through it when I through it, where I really couldn't eat and lost 35 lbs!

I guess I just have to keep going with me detach and GAL and work double hard now to maintain the household, take care of D11, who is also at a loss but I could see is offering her love to daddy at this point, she knows and understands, bless her mature little heart. I will keep it happy and light , be the "lighthouse". Its hard, I just want to hug him, make him feel good if I could, cry with him, and love him, but I guess he won't appreciate the closeness at this point, not until he is ready for it, and I know someday he will come to me for that.