My W seems to be in a funk these past several weeks. She hasn't been going to dance venues as much, is spotty with her attendance at exercise classes, is difficult to get to practice dancing. Her commitment to smoking seems to be fading. she spends too much time in front of the computer smoking and drinking alcohol. We talked last night about the importance of engaging in one recreational activity per day. I'm going to influence her to join me in some of my activities (fitness center, dance classes, practices). The good news is that when she goes out, she is usually glad she did, and perks up for that day.
CL, have you read any of Harriet Lerner's work on overfunctioning & underfunctioning patterns in couples, and ways to break them? (I mean, break the patterns, not the couples) I think her work might speak directly to the type of interactions you seem to be having here.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
I think her work might speak directly to the type of interactions you seem to be having here.