Starting on a different path

[Abbey]

Having a child together makes it a harder task but not impossible.

One of the things I did with my H when junk hit the fan was put him to email only. Do not call, if we see each other, do not talk to me, etc etc etc. Start by giving him the silent treatment. Say NOTHING or as little as humanly possible. Traditionally men are better at that... but practice saying it... what-ever! or clamping your jaw shut and resist the urge to have the last word or "explain" one's self. Go dark.

I think we as women have a harder time with that cuz it's not really how we're wired, but it's effective. Being shut down is a good start to dropping the rope.

As for this guys constant "changes" to the agreement of how and where they exchange their son, there's either two ways to go with this: stop fighting him (play nice) and be super compliant (which I don't think is the way to go at this stage) OR make it clear that you simply will not "fix" his life's timing issues any further. It's not her job nor her problem if the whore and daemon spawn have the car. He can't live up to his end... tough, NOT Mystik's problem.

Four words to any request from H for junk like that: YOU! Figure it out.

She'll get: What do you mean?

Answer: This is *your* obligation sooooo.... YOU figure out how you can make this work for yourself. Don't expect me to do it, fix it, or turn my day upsidedown for yours.

He'll huff and puff and make inference to playing "her game" but he'll eventually get the message.

The only caveat with that, is anyone trying it better be a stickler to details from their own end. That means, if the drop off is five pm. BE there for 5 pm.

No more games with this dude. Mystik needs to get a written agreement between lawyers that states no changes in the schedule, no "late" drive arounds for 2 hours etc because stupid H has life issues he can't juggle etc. If he's late by 15 minutes, he forfeits his day. Period, no changes. Time to grab part of her life back. Good self esteem lesson.

Abs