BeingMe, There is absolutely nothing wrong in wanting answers, but when a person is in crisis, you will never get the answers you want. They are just a confused, jumbled up mess and even they can't figure things out. It's difficult to "read" them...do not try to do so or you will be just as confused as they are.
I'll offer up the same advice to you as I do to others...sit quietly and the answers will come and fall right into your lap. The harder you try to find them, the harder it will be to see them. I know it's difficult to just let things be, but you must in order to take care of yourself, i.e., well being.
Let things be....the answers will come. Drop the rope and focus on you and what you need in order to continue your journey at this time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
