One thing I've noticed in your writing more recently is this disappointment in not causing or sharing a female orgasm. ... While it may seem to be a matter of the right amount of physical stimulation in the right place(s) at the right time, you know it's much more complicated than this. And perhaps just as irrational.
I don't think I've conveyed the situation accurately. She's never let me try to bring her to orgasm, with the exception of intercourse alone (which we all know doesn't work for most women). Her private areas have always been off limits. So any discussion about "right amount of stimulation in the right places" is way ahead of where we've ever been.
So it's not just the O itself I'm looking for. It's everything that would go along with even just trying to get there. I'd be happy if she just took an active interest in her own physical pleasure, and tried for an O.
So I keep hearing from women that it's all due to a very brief episode of sexual abuse in her childhood. But then I also hear there are lots of women who've entered perimenoupause who've lost all interest, not to mention after many childbirths. OK, sure, not all women lose interest, but it does cloud the diagnosis -- I can't say with certainty that it's the child abuse if other women are just as lacking in interest regardless.
