I think you are right, the narcissist-victim mentality looks pretty common in MLC/WAW land. I am picking up on H looking for more connection than I am giving him right now. He is acting jumpy around me. Nothing clingy, but definitely more communication and he seems curious about what I am up to. I have really pulled back from him emotionally. Haven’t said anything, but he seems to have picked up on it and at the least it is a hit to his ego.
Kind of feel like he is fishing to find out what I am up to. He is still acting like a teenager (no offense to any teens) so I’m not inclined to think it is anything more than lookin’ for the ol’ security blanket. Things are not going how he wants right now either though, especially with the restaurant. Opening looks to be delayed till January right now. His only income seems to be from tips while he works as a waiter and waits for the new location to open. Means he is still stuck living with his parents for now too.
After D’s goonight call H texted me to see if it was ok to drop her off in jammies or if she should be ready to go out. I texted back it was ok either way, I could get her dressed at his parent's place before we all went out to shop. He texted that he didn't mind dressing her, just didn't know my plans, have a good night, and that my little girl misses me. Texted back that either way was fine, and that I had missed her too but was glad she got some time with him.
In the morning he texted to tell me he was running late, then called to say he was actually on time. I told him I was already there, he was surprised and asked if everything was ok. I said yes, just having coffee with his mom and dad. Also told me D had been up crying for me all night, so I told him I would give her an extra big hug when she got there.
At D pass-off he mentioned not knowing my plans twice more and seemed hesitant to go off to work. More confused looking than like he wanted to stick around.
The gift from "D3" was a multi-bit screwdriver to keep in my car. Doubt D3 had anything to do with it, but I had mentioned a little over a week ago that I wanted to get one for my car. Nice of him to remember, and goofy that he insists that D3 said I needed one. Think it is just him trying to hide behind her when doing nice things for me again.
I just got off the phone with an old friend. He is a good guy, known him forever. He broke up with his long time girlfriend over a year ago and has been a mess ever since. Back before H & I hooked up, I suspected this guy had a crush on me, but he was too messed up to make it on my list of possibilities, even then.
Anyway, this guy is going on and on about wanting to tell this amazing woman how he feels about her... How just listening to me talking with D is so great and just cheered him right up… How she is soooo great…
He is coming to town for Christmas and invited me to come to his family’s get together. (I declined, btw)
Did I mention he said may want to move back to town and stay at the house I am renting? Oh yeah, he is technically my landlord, so no way to tell him no if he decides to do that. His dad actually handles the mortgage and rent, but the house is in this guy’s name.
Did I mention that he is possibly the biggest alcoholic in the history of the planet? He is a 1 – 2 bottle a day whiskey drinker. Well on his way to drinking himself to death.
If he moves here I would have to move out. It could effect custody and I don’t want a sloppy drunk with a crush on me hangin’ round my girl. And yes, given how long I have known him, I am 90% certain he is still interested in me.
I did my best to let him know I was not interested in ANYONE right now and suggested that if he wanted to get his life back together he should try an IC and give up drinking.
I am NOT interested in this guy and I do not need a new “project” R!
Oh dear Lord, so am I reading this correctly... is he hinting that you are the amazing woman he wants to tell? You are CORRECT, you don't need the crap! Sorry this may mean a move... I assume he knows about you and H?
Enjoy that someone is thinking that much about you and forget it
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
Yes, I am almost certain he was hinting about me. H & I have known him for years and years. After I threw my X out, this guy did make a few passes, but I turned him down. I have never encouraged him either. When H & I were first married he was a roommate for a bit. H was the one who told him we seperated, and they used to talk quite a bit. This guy started calling me occasionally after he heard H left, but hadn't called to talk to me in years.
I feel bad 'cause he really is a nice guy. He just has enough issues to keep an army of therapist busy for 20 years. I have never been at all interested in him either, btw.
My tough spot is just that this is his house and he really should move back to be close to his family. Unfortunately he has said he doesn't really want to be close to his family and I am afraid he is thinking we would live happily ever after together. He had moved away after a failed attempt at staying sober and to get away from all his friends and family.
If he does move in though, I will have to move out. No way I can even take a chance on it effecting custody durring a divorce. And, while he is a harmless enough drunk, his friends do not tend to fall into the harmless category. Even just his sloppy drunk behavior isn't good for my girl to be around. But his friends? Oh sweet Lord NO! I would be constantly worried about my girl with some of the bar rats he hangs out with.
I have been thinking about it and think I need to call him tomorrow morning (when he may be sober) and let him know that I will need time to find a new place if he moves back. I can let him know it would effect custody. I can't have him thinking we would be roommates if he did move.
Feel like an a**, but not saying anything may have him moving down here just to try to get together.
