Hi friends, the situation with my dad is the same. One day he looks as if he is living his last moments, next day, he looks a bit better. The fact that this is lasting more than what we initially thought gave us all time to mourn and come to terms with it. But now..., we are all getting tired. He is suffering, he is not in pain, but he is suffering.
On Sunday it was my nameday. My friends here may remember that in Greece namedays are celebrated like birthdays. H gave me a ring for the pinky finger (I once said I wanted a pinky finger ring). One with black diamonds. Very very nice. We have been a bit distant lately again but we talked a bit on Monday and we identified it's the sitch that brings us down. It affects us in various ways. I find my anger subsiding and coming back in waves. I make strange connections with what is happening, my parents' marriage and commitment with ours.
We are lacking good times. We dont go out, we dont have people over, the mood is always a bit heavy in our home. I spend a lot of time in my parents' house. It's funny, right when he got to finally have free time, we spend it waiting for my dad to die. I really want us to get away soon. I need a break.
Maybe H's break from work cane just when you needed it so you don't have to worry about the house and kids. I am glad he has been there to help you. I can't imagine how hard it must be on you.
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
I think awest got it just right. Maybe your H's job sitch changed just at the right time to give you breathing room to spend this time with your dad without the added worries of taking care of the kids and home. Trust me, having Gabe with me through the ordeal of my mom's passing has been a HUGE blessing.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Ah I remember the nameday thing. Yes it's mostly about commitment in the end. I'm sure you are grateful for all the blessings you have often without your efforts.
I'm glad you got to have your nameday whilst your Dad was still here (was he aware of that?). Wow, a ring with black diamonds! Thats very special. Yes it is a shame that as things started to settle a bit and improve, with him being home more... this has happened. Although its hard on you all and sometimes you are distant, can you just sort of.. love on each other?? With what me and H are going through, our lives have also stopped for weeks, no nights out, no people over, Christmas is currently cancelled etc, but we have just taken the time to kiss and hug and be grateful that we have each other, although we may have to lose someone else.
Thank goodness he is there to help you though hey and more importnantly, that he can be there for the kids too because I am sure this is a confusing and upsetting time for them.
