I must say that detachment was much easier for me during seperation and the threat of d than it is now.
during the seperation I did reach a point where h's life was h's life and mine was mine and the two had nothing to do with eachother unless concerning the kids.
The difficult part is to move from total detachment back into an intimate r and I'm seeing that as not possible.
So then I am stuck in a position to either fret over the lack of intimacy between h and I or just detach and live my life myself and let h do as he will.
Makes it difficult to envision what the future will be like as I see myself living life and enjoying friends and family but h somehow isn't in that picture..even if I try to envision him on the front porch with me...it just doesn't seem right.
detachment gave me the abiltity to sleep comfortably in our bed alone...now I find myself trying to tip toe around him if he falls asleep on the couch in hopes that I might have the bed to myself once again (happens that way most of the time)
so as difficult as detachment may seem to a lot of folks...it's the putting it back together that is the work...finding that balance between detachment and an intimate r.
