No longer holding on to what I know is gone.

[NNP1965]

Thank for posting LFA. I'll try and catch up with you sitch.

I have a wonderful IC, I never would have made it thru this without her! I shutter to thing about it.

[BobbiJo]

I hear you NNP, between my pastor and my counselor I think I have been incredibly lucky! Hope you have a nice weekend...

[NNP1965]

This was my first holiday without my kids

I planned ahead and made sure I had something to do. I volunteered at a church here in town that puts on a meal for anyone who wants to come... there were people from all walks of life... some were poor in money, others poor in family. I was very thankful to be able to serve at such a wonderful event. and since I felt so good about that I was able to stop by at a couple of the places I had been invited to. I didn't stay long at either place, but I was able to enjoy being with other families for a short time and then I met a friend for a movie.

I survived it

Yesterday I got a massage and it was wonderful. When done, the massage therapist said "sweetie, I don't know what's going on in your life, but there is some really bad stuff isn't there?". She could tell that just from touching me? Kind of blew my mind!

Our court date is rescheduled for Dec 15th... My house is on the market, and I have faith when the time comes that the good Lord will show me where the boys and I should live... our land is up for sale... H and I have pretty much come to agreement on most financial things... this divorce train is moving along.

I know this will sound odd but in some ways I am grateful for this opportunity to grow and become the person I am supposed to be. I am no longer the doormat in a marriage of two damaged people. I will most likely forever mourn the loss of the family I imagined, but life will go on... and I pray I am strong enough to make the most of what's next.

[NNP1965]

as of about 2:00 pm yesterday I am divorced...

[AtTheEnd?]

Take care of yourself.

[BeginningAgain]

How are you with all of that?

I am anticipating that when that day arrives for me the enormity of everything that has occured leading up to that moment of finality is going to be very overwhelming.

Stay busy and involved, time heals everything.

Best,
BA

[BeginningAgain]

BTW, did you get the settlement that you wanted in regard to retirement, etc? Hope so.

[soleil]

Hey NN, how'd it go? How do you feel?

[NNP1965]

well mostly I am numb. I had a bit of a panic when we first got there and I was in one little room with my lawyer and xh was in another little room with his. My L kept saying if you don't want this we don't have to do it today... but then a peace came over me and I knew I wanted to go thru with it. xh showed his butt a little bit, but it was all pretty inconsequential... I gotta say though, his L (actually is guardian ad litem) was a real D*CK!

He did stand by the agreement we made. I am happy with the settlement. I doubt he is but he should be too as he gets all the things of value that he looked at as "his" anyway. I could have made him pay me for some of it, but I wanted it over.

So it's done, I am divorced... I don't feel any different. I guess I am waiting for the realization to sink in.

[soleil]

I am glad to hear you had a peace come over you. Sorry you ended up here after this crazy journey but now the next part of your life begins... and that is pretty exciting