Yes, OPT!! You have been able to reach that premier level of detatchment! Reclaiming of self with allowance for others to join you. You are right when you say that you can't explain HOW you got to this point either...something inside just seems to "click" and you know that it is right.
I had that moment of "click", when i knew that I would be alright no matter what happened. The calmness was a boon to me and allowed me to do my best DB'ing ever That calmness did lead me to this thought though. I have always told H that the one thing I learned from my 2nd M was that I was the most important person in my life...that when all was said and done I would always have ME no matter what. After a great deal of thinking over the summer I believe that at some level this statement frightened H, to him it was a statement of extreme self-centeredness and perhaps even selfishness on my part. My self-examination of the statement led me to amend it and tell H something along the lines of this...
I once told you that I was the most important person in my life. I now realize that that was a selfish thing for me to say. Yes, I am important but not to the exclusion of you. I have realized that with you by my side I can accomplish far more then I ever could alone. Your support helps me to be the strongest and most complete person that I can be. When I place your needs before mine or mine before yours I open myself up to failure...when we walk beside each other, as equals, I know that either one of us can conquer anything that comes our way.
H had a lightbulb moment when I told him this...the look on his face was enough to tell me that it was something that he needed to hear. I try my best to stick to this line of thought too. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fall back into old behaviour patterns. The funny thing is is that H is trying to do the same thing The selfishness and self-centeredness is starting to dwindle away from our R and we are finding ourselves left with to people able to stand alone, together.
Hugz, Zoo
"If patience is worth anything, it must endure to the end of time. And a living faith will last in the midst of the blackest storm."
- Mahatma Gandhi
That calmness did lead me to this thought though. I have always told H that the one thing I learned from my 2nd M was that I was the most important person in my life...that when all was said and done I would always have ME no matter what. After a great deal of thinking over the summer I believe that at some level this statement frightened H, to him it was a statement of extreme self-centeredness and perhaps even selfishness on my part. My self-examination of the statement led me to amend it and tell H something along the lines of this... 