Well, I've finally ended up here, after being in just about every other section of the site. Long complicated stories short (I think my thread should appear in my sig unless I've screwed it up), today would have been the 5 year anniversary of our first date. Divorce was 10 days ago after 3 years of M, incl. 1 year separated. He was emotionally abusive, and unfaithful. In the end I was ready to give him another chance, and he didn't take it. He didn't deserve me, but he WAS my world, and I feel as if I've been shipwrecked. Just trying to stay afloat.
I am sorry that you find yourself here. There are a bunch of great people that will be able to help you work through all the different things you go through post-divorce.
I totally get being so involved with family/kids that you don't feel as if you have an identity once that is gone. Time to rediscover yourself. You can do this. One day at a time.
big hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Sosa, sorry to see you here as well as about your sitch. Life must go on though.
With that, welcome to the asylum, make yourself comfortable while the rest of the inmates come and greet you
Sol is the ring leader of the kickass-clan, you don't wanna mess with her. Wii is the not-so-funny guy, Kerry has a youtube fetish, Kat, Michelle and Mishka- they drink and eat ice-cream and they stick together, VirtuallyHandsome is the handsome dude- doh! CTH is the superfly playa. Well, that's the gist of it, the rest will introduce you to themselves.
Oh and I'm Romeo- maam
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
I feel as if I've been shipwrecked. Just trying to stay afloat.
Yes, that's pretty much how it feels! Suddenly you're trying to deal with the world in a whole new way. When there's someone at your side, even if it's the sh!ts, you feel differently. I know I always felt that there was a chance to turn things around no matter how bad it got...there wasn't. I spent the last five years of a seventeen year marriage trying to make it work and it was a hard five, believe me. I've just "celebrated' my three year anniversary of being separated (I got myself a colonscopy as a gift, just something special to remember it by). It's a hard go (separation, not the colonscopy...well, that too) but you'll make it, look at us...well, maybe don't look too hard but we're still afloat, you will be too.
Sorry to see you here as well. Pull up a bar stool. It's funny that I have been divorced now for almost a year in Feb yet it feels like yesterday that she said those words to me that destroyed my entire world.
For the LBS everything changes. Some for good and some for bad and it will sometimes seem overwhelming to the point of panic.
If you ever feel that way just come here to let it out if friends and family are not available.
But better days will be ahead. Just have faith that they will come. Someday somebody may come along that trully loves you.
Me:48 W:55 M:22 T:23 Bomb:19Nov09 S:15Jan10 D:11Feb10 EA:Confirmed on 20Apr10 Fast track to her divorcing me
have i really been gone for a month? guess i've been doing ok! holidays are always harder, of course. still no peep from the ex. URGHHHH. not that it would do anything but make me cry, but i expected to hear something from him by now. i miss him. and hate him. and know i am better off with out him but still miss him. ugh. started online dating at the suggestion of my therapist. actually met someone i like. we'll see what happens. the fact that i'm recently divorced somehow hasnt come up and trying to figure out how to slip it into convo as i think it's important for him to know. not that being a freshly minted divorcee defines a person, but it certainly affects your views on relationships and what you're looking for. hope you are all well. i'll check in on your threads soon.
Hi Sosadoh, here is my take on you sharing that you are recently divorced... if you say "I am recently divorced" like it is a problem or a warning or something then he will feel caution. If the conversation comes up about whether you have been married before or if you had kids, you can say "I am divorced." Then, when you two start to talk in more detail, you can share the details. (just my 2 cents!)
Now, let me ask you--are you looking for a casual dating relationship or are you looking for an exclusive, serious thing?
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
thanks newmama. i brought it up on the phone tonight. i was explaining why i was in a different place in my life a few years ago and it felt like the right time. this guy is not the judgmental type plus i was so positive about the growth that came out of the all the crappiness I think he was impressed. I think I want to be exclusive with this guy in a no-pressure, see how it goes, day by day kind of way. I'm going to be finishing school this summer and moving to a new city and I'm not sure I want to drag anyone with me, and i don't think i'm looking for "the one" right now (but wouldn't run away screaming if he was knocking on my door). i'm not interested in seeing other people and wouldn't feel comfortable if he was (he isn't). He's in more of a "looking for the one" place than I am, but he's also very laid back. I am hoping we can enjoy it without pressure and see what happens. does this sound reasonable/ healthy?
