Detachment With Love - Discussion

[haphazard]

This is a great post Kitti, and like the others this is the first time detatching has really made sense to me too.

This morning driving into work, traffic was terribly slow, it had snowed a little and with the first snow of the year everyone forgets how to drive. I was the fourth car behind a person who driving overly cautious...SLOW. And I was getting frustrated, angry, talking to myself, "lady you're slowing up everybody" it was a chain reaction behind me...there was a stream of cars. But, it didn't matter what I said or how I felt, she wasn't going to change her speed. She was in control of her vehicle, I was not. As I was feeling the emotions, from anger, impateince, wanting her to go faster it came to me that this feeling was the same feeling I had with H. If H wouldn't do what I wanted him to do, I would get impatient, angry and no matter how impatient, how much yelling I did it doesn't matter, I AM not in control of my H/traffic. The emotions are the same, this is something I recognized for the first time today.

This is so true!

I have noticed my S(4) trying to control his little sister, telling her off for laughing at something on TV if he doesn't think it is funny. My mum is INCREDIBLY controlling, no-one can sneeze without her permission! So I am finally beginning to realise that I have NO BUSINESS telling anyone else how to behave unless it is doing me some harm (real harm not just annoyance - LOL).

Thanks for this


Frna