Hope it's not too late

[what next?]

I agree. I am making changes to me for me and it has been extremely rewarding on a lot of levels. I'm just scared that without contact she will have no way of knowing how much I am changing. I know, I'm paranoid but we don't have kids or anything like that so I don't have a way of showing her (through contact during exchanges and what not). I realize that only time can draw us back together and she has to process everything on her own but I'm scared. Pretty standard I guess

There is no ploy though. The changes in me have been as much chemical as they have been psychological (but there have been a lot of those too!) The lexapro has made me feel like my train is back on the track and I am more at peace than I have ever felt before. I understand, in hindsight, how I pushed her away and I know that I will make a great husband the next time I have that opportunity. I just hope it is with her.