SSM, please remember that because your wife suffered from sexual abuse (which she has as yet been unable to overcome), she is NOT a typical woman. From my own experience and that of my friends, a woman only begins to come into her sexuality by her late 30's or 40's, once she's shaken off all those social constraints of what a "good" girl should/shouldn't be/do and become at ease with her own body and desires.
In addition, as our partners become older and less self-focused and more nurturing, this also allows for sex which is far more mutually satisfying. This sex becomes a reflection of how our relationships have evolved and strengthened.
