Originally Posted By: Pickle
Question for Trugritter:

How is telling her she's not thinking rationally, "dropping a bomb"?

When a WAW acts like a child, I cannot help but begin treating her like a child.


Simple answer.

It does not validate her feelings.

She is not with you right now and right or wrong, she thinks YOU are the problem.

If you are pointing out that she is not "rational" do you think that makes her feel like she should look at her behavior

Or

That you are just being the same jerk that she decided to leave?

It does not mean you agree with her.

It is just not pushing your own ideas and agenda on her right now.

She has to come through this before she can look at her behavior and decide for herself what she wants to change.

She will not decide to do that with you tatooing her in the forehead.

It is counter intuitive Pickle I know. Because I sung from the same hymnal you are singing from.

Just trying to give you the benefit of what I have already figured out from making the same mistakes.

If/when she decides to step back toward you

You will not have to tell her these things.

She will tell you and ask you to forgive her behavior

BUT

That day is not today.

Validate.

And STFU.

Work on YOU not her. Stop looking at her and get busy becoming the man you want to be

And then live it.

My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am