Other than that, it's about acknowledging the false beliefs about yourself and the world which the abuse created in you...
This made my jaw drop... I can see exactly what you're talking about. It's like you've been in some of my appts with my IC with me. We've been working on this alot since Oct. And it's been since then that my mood has fallen so much. So it gives me hope to read the next part of that sentence...
Originally Posted By: Cyrena
and choosing to affirm what's best and strongest about you--what allowed you to survive and rise beyond what you experienced.
I do hope that's what will come from this. When you talked about not wanting to waste another moment of life thinking about this old stuff... I SO want to get there. Those memories, they just swirl around and around in my brain getting bigger and more upsetting until I practically feel like hitting my head against the wall to make it stop; to just shut it all off (which of course I wouldn't do.. but you know what I mean?). But still, I know I'm not ready to forgive. There's another, bigger aspect to this that I can't write about here, that it sounds like I haven't dealt with yet. When I think about THAT, I feel just... well, numb. Empty. Even less than empty. Like I wasn't even there, but I know I was. And it seems really odd to me, that don't have any feelings about it; nor did I when it happened. I think maybe that's why all these other things won't go away...maybe once I deal with that; all this other stuff will start to ease and then maybe... possibly... get to where I can start thinking about how to forgive it all.
Originally Posted By: Cyrena
Meanwhile, please be very gentle with yourself. Your were denied proper nurturing as a child, so be that nurturing figure for yourself now.
Thanks for saying that...really. It's so hard for me to process b/c I STILL judge myself (grrr) for being upset that I didn't get it. I think ... there's so many people that got even LESS that I did; so many people who didn't even HAVE parents... who am I to look at some of the good parts I DID get and turn my nose up at it because of the bad. Again, dizzying. And again I must stop thinking about this; so much work to do. But again, thank you. I can't tell you how reassuring it is to hear someone say 'yes, I understand.' Take care, FMV.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
