Your thread has brought many questions to my mind. I thought I was doing a good job of this. You have helped me see another level. THANK YOU!
For me detaching revolves around hurting. I have been hurt in the past, so I LOOK for the ways that will hurt me. That way H is the bad guy. He will hurt me anyway so I might as well look for the ways or conjure up things in my head. Of course he can't call, he's with her or on a date with her. Now guess what? I can feel free to be mad and hurt! Might as well get it over with huh?
Damn it why is it when I'm living that and the feelings are so real it makes perfect sense. But when I think about this and really type it out... its whacked. No wonder I'm in the situation I'm in.
At what point does a person reattach? We are talking about putting very REAL feelings aside. The fact that H is with OW is REAL. I can detach from that (I think) but at what point does that REATACHMENT come back? If we get back together, I will not be DETACHED if OW is back. Maybe this just sort of happens?
Maybe I am not nearly as detached as I thought. I hate hurting. But I guess that is my choice to allow it to make me hurt.
So here a couple of my thougths for your excersise Kitty~
When I asked H about his Christmas shopping he did not give me ANY details, so that must mean that the presents he has bought are for OW.
Wow, H doesn't want to share a lot of information about this, so I will not press or pry. He will share what he is comfortable with and I will work on creating that safe place.
H hardly ever calls or sees me on weekends. He must have other plans with OW.
H hardly ever calls or sees me on weekends, I don't like that, but will enjoy the times when we are together.
