Just thinking, I know its part of all this, but it still gets to me that last week H was calling S every day, while he was overseas, then he gets back - dissappears for a day, visits briefly the following day, cant come to bath S he's in a meeting - which he was(Monday), I have to ask him if S can phone and say goodnight , he does, tuesday night he turns up for bath time, yawning his head off, baths S, stays for 5 mins after S is in bed (he usually leaves straight away), but only to ask me if I can take S to school for the next 3 mornings as he's going camping. Since then , not a peep,3 days, except yesterday I smsed him to ask about something tax related, which he responded, but thats it.
Gone - dissapeared into the ether.
And now when he gets back, I bet its back to rocking up for bath time every night, and doing everything on his terms and according to his timeline again.
And here I sit with S4 asking me, where is daddy, why isnt he visiting me? When am I going to see him?
And me having to say (as always), 'daddy works very hard my angel, he's busy working...'
Instead of 'daddys of camping with another lady my boy and he doesnt want to call you when hes there with the other lady'...
Just getting to me - you know?
You need to be made out of cast iron or something to not feel any emotions about this sort of thing...
Starting to view H in a different light again, as this strange man that is nothing like the image of the man I remember...maybe thats all it was, an image? In my head?
I dont' know, this is confusing me too now
Oh well, hoping todays spoil and the summery weather will make me a little happier today...
