Welcome RB, holidays and weekends are usually slow around here but keep updating and journaling.
That list from sandi2 is pretty long and overwhelming, but start with some of those things and get to work. While doing your 180's and making changes be careful not to 180 into someone you are not or do not want to be. The changes should be real, and should help you be a better person for life in general.
One of the problems I had with my H was simple terminology. The words 'moving on with or without' seem harsh, almost an ultimatum. I alway liked the term 'moving forward while leaving room for H to join me'.
Suround yourself with people that will support your decision to stay in your M if that is what you are trying to do.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
