My heart is in her hands

[Deep]

Honestly, the title you chose alone hints at the "codependency" aspect you mentioned.

She doesn't hold your heart. You hold your heart. It's in your hands. You may want to share it, you may want to reach out, but don't compromise that position.

Accept that you do not control what she does. And what she is doing may be hurtful. You can and should love her still despite that, but it doesn't change the intrinsic wrongness of her choices nor should you sugarcoat that.

I know it's hard. Don't read too much into her attempts to contact you, and stop driving yourself crazy trying to figure out what she's doing, with OM or otherwise.