Moving Forward

[flowmom]

GW, I always love R2C's slogan: "what is right for my children is right for me".

STBXH bombed me on Dec 22 as we were driving to our yearly Christmas holiday-at-snowy-rustic-cabins-with-another-family. The middle of the night crying and conversations while the kids were sleeping were HORRIBLE. But I am grateful that we had one last family Christmas. We (meaning *I*) pulled off creating the Christmas magic for my children and I wouldn't trade the bittersweet memories of watching my kids enjoy a family Christmas for the last time. Of course, I'm tearing up thinking about it. This year, I don't have that choice. My children don't get to spend Christmas with both of their parents and they are very sad about that, especially because our Christmases used to be AMAZING.

Get your ducks in a row and protect yourself legally, financially, and emotionally. If you can, involve supportive people in your Christmas plans as much as you can...that can help to keep the focus on the kids and making it great for them. The other family helped me a lot last Christmas when I was shocked and devastated. The situation pulled me outside of myself enough that I could focus on the kids and the fun for periods of time, which I am very grateful for.

The holidays make things worse because it's a time when people conjure visions of the "ideal" in their heads...and then compares their lives to that vision. I know that will be a trap for me this year.