Positively moving forward

[awest1217]

Well...Happy thanksgiving. I am very thankful for S and my life. I love it...even last night and today...

Last night S woke up at midnight screaming which isn't completely normal, but he does once in a while. I felt him and he was burning up. I right away tried to give him meds and he wouldn't take them or let me check his temp. I text H right away to let him know because S was supposed to go with H this morning at 9 am (a heads up). S continues to not sleep well. Then at 5:30 I decide to take him to the 24 hour clinic (since nothing else will be open on Thanksgiving day). S was drooling and so warm. I text H again to ask what he wanted to do and to let him know what I was doing with S. no response. S was horrible at the doc's although the meds (tylenol and ibuprofen) finally kicked in. I felt so bad having to calm him down and hold him down for the strep test. He wouldn't even stand on the scale.

S has strep so I drive around looking for a 24 hour pharmacy. I finally find one and get the med. Give it to S. Still nothing from H and he is supposed to get S in one hour. S won't even walk because he feels so bad. I text my sibs to let them know and ask about what to do today. My family responds right away and we decide to do dinner tomorrow. I finally text H with 45 minutes before he should get S and he says "sorry I didn't have my phone with me". I was fuming...because he always asks me to have him be more involved and how he wants to help. I am done asking. Plus the quickest way to get to the 24 hour clinic goes right past H's parents...and he wasn't there. He has moved out of his parent's, but still has not even bothered to ask to have S spend the night. I don't get it. I am so sick of the stupid parenting by him. Soon I will have sole custody and H will really be just S's "buddy". It is sad for S because he doesn't know anything different, but oh well.

H and I decided it is best for S to stay with me all day. H will pick up S tomorrow at 9 and drop him off earlier than he would have today so he can get a good nap here. I have been disinfecting the house so no one gets sick tomorrow. S fell asleep about 1 hour ago on me and he finally is sleeping well so I was able to move and go to the bathroom and get something to eat to keep me going.

I am very frustrated with H, but now I know to just forget it. I have tried to keep him involved and have him help out like he wants and asks, but he is never around for me or S so I am done trying. If he doesn't want to be a good dad, it is not my problem. I will still allow H to see S and be cordial, but the little bit of respect I was starting to feel for him because he was stepping up as a dad, is now gone.

S just needs TLC, which he is getting and when I have a few moments I am going to keep disinfecting so he gets better, my family doesn't get sick tomorrow, and I don't get sick either.

Happy Thanksgiving!