Her fantasy with the OM could and often does linger. Think about the power of infatuation. Think about how you felt when you "fell" for someone. It's a power that has often been referred to both here and in the MWD books as a drug-like addiction.
The focus on knowing for sure is simply another way of trying to control a person and a situation that is not completely in your control.
She will either return to you, or she will not. Finding out for sure about OM will not speed that decision along, and even if it did, it would likely speed you towards her deciding that she does not want to be with you.
Refocus yourself. You can change you. You can change how you react to her, her actions, and her words. YOu can change your outlook and work on freeing yourself from dependence on the relationship. This is not the same as choosing to quit on her.
OM is in fact less relevant than what you choose to do about you and how you handle this crisis. Remember, you are supposed to be the sane one, the one on an even keel. In the midst of your wife's turbulence you HAVE to be the anchor.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
