Welcome to divorcebusting.com! My heart goes out to you, you have a very tough situation.
You have some positives:
We are taking care of the kids as a team and sharing and that is going well. The communication is almost daily but never about our relationship.
Divorce Remedy has a chapter on dealing with depression, and your library probably has a copy. You have more than depression going on here, but there is a lot you can still do. You don't have a guarantee, but miracles do happen all the time, and real love often brings about that miracle.
There are great things about you doing this. His depression and your feeling hopeless i'm sure really affects your children as well. Finding active ways to positively affect the situation teaches them great skills. So let's do this.
One great technique is to FOCUS ON THE EXCEPTIONS (p244)
"Life isn't always bleak, even for depressed people. there are moments, hours even days when the depression seems to slip into the background. The problem is, your partner fails to notice these exceptions and fixates on the times when s/he feels down. This "half-empty glass" perspective compounds the pro blem in that it makes your spouse's bad feelings seem even worse. You can help your spouse build a more objective view of things by catching him/her in the act of being happier, more involved, more upbeat, and subtly bringing it to his/her attention."
