Enlighting appointment with the IC. He kinda smacked me in the forehead and pinpointed my problem that led me to where I am. Unfortunately, I see a lot of it on here too and I think its part of many people's problems.
I'm very down today. My wife and I had a long talk last night. More of the same from her. She doesn't know where she's at. She wants us to make a joint decision on any divorce (total BS). She wants to live alone for a while to clear her head, etc. She said she loves me, but doesn't know if that's enough. She said that she could get through all the stuff that went on the last 10 months between us but she's a a point now where she doesn't even want to try. Then,she told me that part of her doesn't want to me married...not to me..not to anyone and that she has always been a loner. So the DB plays right into her fantasy, as far as I'm concerned.
I don't know what the f to do. She's still living in a fantasy world were everyone separates and life goes on just fine. I'm not going to be friends with someone who didn't give our marriage the respect enough to try to fixi it. Of course she said she still needs more time to sort this out. I can't do this for years and years. Part of wants to give her the divorce and be done. But I do love her and I think she has some affection for me.
I'm just confused, sad and pessimistic today. I feel it's only a matter of time before she decides she doesn't want to be married. I know that she can pick up on this and I should be optimistic, but it seems like a waste of feelings.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
