I guarentee OM has something to do with her confusion right now. He is part of the problem. We are trying to put it back together here, but part of me thinks back to Rob and Gucci saying give her what she wants and let her go. Make the decision for her.
Well I keep getting the "i'm in such a good place". I can't change my feelings and I tried the best I could. So I think I will just detach and face reality. No regrets on my part and she says their will be none on hers. I am a better man because of this.
well, i've decided it's over.. i have a parenting plan in place, an a pad to crash at starting saturday and I will be finishing up the divorce paperwork next week. NO way in hell I'm living with a wife who thinks she can talk to her former "soul mate" while she is married to me. Hard for me when I think of the kids, but as far as I am concerned I deserve so much better than this. I know I can survive and thrive after this and wish her a happy life.
Did she just start talking to him or has she kept in touch this whole time? She can't stay committed to the M if she's still on the high of the A. Of course nothing bad happened between the two of them. There never was a chance to have anything bad happen. It's amazing how WASs delude themselves with the ultimate fantasy.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
well, i've decided it's over.. i have a parenting plan in place, an a pad to crash at starting saturday and I will be finishing up the divorce paperwork next week. NO way in hell I'm living with a wife who thinks she can talk to her former "soul mate" while she is married to me. Hard for me when I think of the kids, but as far as I am concerned I deserve so much better than this. I know I can survive and thrive after this and wish her a happy life.
I think you have no other option. Just flip the script, imagine you had the affair, got back together but still carried on talking to this "soul mate". Do you think she would have any hesitation in booting you out.
well, i've decided it's over.. i have a parenting plan in place, an a pad to crash at starting saturday and I will be finishing up the divorce paperwork next week. NO way in hell I'm living with a wife who thinks she can talk to her former "soul mate" while she is married to me. Hard for me when I think of the kids, but as far as I am concerned I deserve so much better than this. I know I can survive and thrive after this and wish her a happy life.
Why not give your plan a chance/retro or otherwise. Divorce really is devastating, especially for children, but also for those who go through it. The only people that win are the lawyers. Let the whole long term make your decisions, not your current anger.
This is our assessment of our marriage currently. We are happy, have no fights, are very aware of each others needs, have fun together and everything seems perfect from the outside. I did forgive W completely, gave her my heart again and did fall back in love with her. She agrees that everything is perfect except for the passion and she doesn't feel in love. She works closely with Om and has always said she can handle it. Perhaps she hasn't been honest with herself and the situation never really came up where she could quit her job. But obviously those feelings will never change that she has for him and she absolutely cannot see or talk to him again if she ever wants that connection and feelings to come to me. She says she has tried her best and she is at peace with ending this marriage. I said we are doing everything right except the most important thing "remove OM from the picture". So I was basically at the point that either she quits the job and we move forward together, or this is done.
she does want to believe me and says she wants me to be right on this (that we can regain that passion and have the marriage we both want). we are going to go to retro next weekend and hopefully we have a clear vision of how to proceed after it. If she can't quit her job, I will not live in this marriage. It's a battle I know that I can't win.
