She's in MLC, but I was weak. Now what?

[crushednstuck]

Thanks WS, I tend to think that my progress will not be much quicker. I read and try to absorb what's been printed. The disconnect comes when I try to apply what I've read. I still think of this as a strategy rather than a life change.

It's so ingrained that with the right tools, anything can be fixed. Except here.

When we were attempting couples counseling, she was so adamant that I acknowledge my errors. I had no problem with this. I f'ed up, but not nearly enough for the M to get the death penalty. When I realized that no amount of acknowledging my faults would change her mind, I slowly started coming around to the fact that nothing I do will fix it.

As you've said WS, starting the day with a sense of accomplishment and clarity is only briefly rewarding because of the constant barrage of negativity. I get angry when speculating on the impact this separation is having on my kids. They are confused. And I can't help because I'm confused too. And helpless to change the sitch between their Mom and me.

Your post was helpful WS, but as with all new info, I'll struggle to employ it. My thick skull has taken it's share of pummeling and I've got force this stuff to sink in.