Well I am glad to hear it wasn't something specific that came from your H.

When I read this post, it makes me wonder if your were raised around a particlar person who was very critical where you were concerned. I had a very critical person in my life and it caused me to have low self-esteem until I was grown and up into my twenties. It is something about a critical spirit toward you that just breaks down your attempts at having self-confidence. I think when a parent is harsh or expects perfection from a child, it certainly can cause some barriers developing good mental health.

Thankfully, my H is not the critical type, but my sister M a man who is mentally abusive and it's hard to watch her cow down under his behavior. I think I've told you about that. What I can't understand is the few times she did stand up for herself....he respected her for it and it actually made their R better.

I think that is true in most R, be it M, friendship, co-workers or whoever.

I think it's good that you are able to express yourself here.

((hugs))

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!