It's not over till it's over right?

[DoneAfter10]

Lost--This is an incredibly difficult thing to get our heads wrapped around. I'm so sad and confused all the time b/c up until early August, my husband continued to treat me like a queen--like he always has. Then, he turned into this person that doesn't even look the same. His eyes are dead. It's like he had to shove his old self down in order to carry on with the affair, otherwise he wouldn't be able to handle what he has done to me or our family. The man I knew would have never done anything like this, but I think he is in limerence with this girl--she gives him attention and makes him feel good--therefore he has rewritten our history and talks like he has been unhappy and wanting to leave for years. While, he may have been unhappy, I don't believe the rest of it b/c we went through 3 years of infertility and ended up having to do invitro fertilization for our daughter. You don't go through all that with someone you don't love and plan on spending your future with. So, he has totally transformed into someone else. If he can't be a better person, then I have to let him go. But, it is so hard. I'm like you and I blame myself for all of this, even though I did not make him cheat or lie or walk out on his family. He did all that. I know one day he will wake up and regret it. I just hope it isn't too late for us when he does that. But, I know exactly how sad, alone, crazy, rejected, bitter, hurt, angry, disappointed, etc you feel. I feel it too, and I hate feeling this way.