What part of DBing do you feel is contradictive of God's way?
Have you not apologized for the abuse? If you haven't, then I believe that could be a stumbling block to R. But, you would need to just tell her you are sorry for the way you mistreated her......and do not get off into other things and certainly don't start suggesting what she needs to do.
Habit, I was a born again Christian and yet I backslide and got off into stuff that God sure wasn't happy about. But my heart was so resentful toward my H that the last thing I wanted to hear come out of his mouth was anything about God, Bible, Church, Christian living......you get the picture? Anybody else might could, but not likely in the manner you are thinking. That's why God often works through others or in ways that we can't take credit for (not that that's what you're trying to do). What I mean is that God can take it completely out of our hands, and still work it out.
I think you just want to fix everything, especially her. You know what she needs to do, if only she would listen. I wish I could tell you that would work. It doesn't. The last thing she probaby wants to hear is something that sounds preachy. I am basing that on how I was and what I've read about other WAW's. It is matter of the heart. God can reach her, but it may not be through you. You cannot force it. Even though it's killing you to see her in so much pain, all you can really do is to be the man that God wants you to be. He can take care of your W. Just continue to pray for her and to trust Him.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
