New here, looking for help.

[sandi2]

Hope you enjoy the holidays with your folks. Has your W said what her plans are while you & the kids are gone?

I understand about the snoring b/c the same thing happened with us. Also, I was not able to go back to sleep once I was waken up. Some couples have to have separate rooms for health reasons, but it's easy to get very slack in the sex dept. Whereas when going to bed together....the cuddling, touching, etc., would allow nature to lead the way for sex. But, a couple has to put forth more effort when they have separate rooms.

This is only a suggestion, but have you thought about starting a new routine, and going to bed with your W every night. You could lay in bed with her until the two of you were ready to go to sleep.....then you could go get into your bed.

What I missed the most about going to bed together was that was when we had our intimate talks, and that happened to be one of my emotional needs. Sometimes we ML, sometimes we didn't. But when you go to be alone in bed, you read or watch TV or whatever....but you are slowly developing a lifestyle that cuts your S out of a very important part of the MR. That was the very first step in the breakdown of our M a long time ago.

Okay, let me talk to you about being passive. My H was always very passive. People said he was quiet and laid back. But, over time it became a trait that was not attractive to me. I wanted a strong man who would stand up to me and not allow me to talk disrespectful to him, put him down in public, make fun of him, etc. I wanted a man who had the guts to stand up to others when they were ugly to me(especially his mother!), and when people took advantage of him. I wanted him to be a strong, confident leader for our family. There were times I actually craved for him to show some form of agression to know he was ALIVE!

Passiveness is not sexy. I'm sorry, but it's just not. You can be the strong, quiet type.....and yet not be passive. Women will take over and lead the family if the man doesn't,but I don't think that is truly what they want to do. The W may even seem to test you in this area,but she justs wants to "see" you stand up or take some kind of action. I think many women resent the passive H b/c it looks very much like a first cousin to LAZINESS. It becomes an excuse for not taking responsibility for things and depending on the W to do it.

If you are in a reversed tradional role, and she's working and your a stay at home dad....I think her need to see you take charge may be even greater. How long have you been at home?

So, what were you like when you werer dating? How much of that has changed? How much can you become that man again?