Sweetie, I can't imagine all of the emotions you are going through...but let's keep what's good. Her reaching out to you is a GOOD thing. Don't let your feelings dictate your actions. Take the space if you need it to get centered. Then make a plan based on your rational thinking and work it.
It will be ok.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
So, i got another kick in the nuts today. I lost my job. The company felt my personal issues were interfering with my job. I thought she was supposed to hit rock bottom not me!
Tonight, while watching my sons playoffs she asked me what was wrong, so i told her. She tried to give me a hug and i put my hand up and told her no. It dawned on me today. Her affair and her leaving home was what started all of this. My entire future is forever changed. was easy to tell her no after that thought.
Hi,
Your not the only one. I run my own business and almost lost all my customers at the beginning of my sitch. If I'd have been employed I would have got fired. I managed to pull myself back up by my bootlacs. You will too.
So, i got another kick in the nuts today. I lost my job. The company felt my personal issues were interfering with my job. I thought she was supposed to hit rock bottom not me!
Tonight, while watching my sons playoffs she asked me what was wrong, so i told her. She tried to give me a hug and i put my hand up and told her no. It dawned on me today. Her affair and her leaving home was what started all of this. My entire future is forever changed. was easy to tell her no after that thought.
Hi,
Your not the only one. I run my own business and almost lost all my customers at the beginning of my sitch. If I'd have been employed I would have got fired. I managed to pull myself back up by my bootlacs. You will too.
I feel you guys. I work for a small(er) company of about 50 people as a Director. When my sitch went south, I was an absolute mess.
My only saving grace was that I put in lots of extra hours and dedication to the company in the past before all of this. My boss was understanding, and there were times where I thought I'd be fired.
For about a good three months I was absolutely useless at work. I got nothing done and only the bare minimum. I am so very thankful to my company for sticking with me and being understanding through all of this. I'll reward them with loyalty.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
So, i got another kick in the nuts today. I lost my job. The company felt my personal issues were interfering with my job. I thought she was supposed to hit rock bottom not me!
1) sorry about the job loss dude 2) Now that I have said sorry, pick your as* up and start looking for a job. 3) You hit rock bottom or so you say, have you OR have you hit a place that will show Tank what Tank is made of. 4) FTR, blaming your wife or your sitch (although I understands) places you in a role of? Psstt...the word starts with the letter V.
Quote:
Tonight, while watching my sons playoffs she asked me what was wrong, so i told her. She tried to give me a hug and i put my hand up and told her no.
Boundaries are a good thing when they are used to protect YOUR emotions. If they are used to "punish" then really they are not so good. Having said this, when your W reached over for a hug. Was it ANGER that cause you to say NO OR what is that emotionally you cannot allow yourself to go down that path?
One other point...Have you ever hugged and x girl friend? Ever hugged anyone that has pissed you off in the past.
IMO, not at least reciprocating was a nice way of just telling her f*ck you. If that is the message you want to deliver to her - then I guess you did fine.
Quote:
It dawned on me today. Her affair and her leaving home was what started all of this.[quote] You a victim? Is everything her fault? Dude I am not trying to be as*, just sayin that the more you look at what SHE does to YOU that impact this or that...the less time you spend looking at what YOU want and NEED to do for YOU.
[quote]My entire future is forever changed.
How it changes is determined to some extent by YOU?
Can you see how when you take ownership of YOUR life that YOU are now in control?
Quote:
was easy to tell her no after that thought.
Easy is not always the best or right way.
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I didnt tell her anything other then she needs to get a job and pay her support and take care of her arrears. She did send me an email yesterday and i will post it here. I need some advise as to what I do with it. I have not responded as of yet.
"Hey, I just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you and I hope you are doing OK. You are a strong man, one of the strongest I know and you will get through this, I know you will. I will do what I can to find a better job than tim horton's so I can help out. Have you thought about maybe contacting Gary and seeing about going into business for yourself? I think it would be worth a discussion with him.....what do you have to loose? Hope you have a good day Always, W"
So i would appreciate some input on the next step. I have used the last resort method from the book and I informed her that as long as she was living with other man she is not a part of my life. So I know i have to be firm on this. So do i reply, or just let it go?
*Last name removed by dbmod, and then added back, due to it being an awesome coffeeshop in canada
I removed the last name in the post...please be careful about that.
Do you want to hold your ground or do you want your wife back? The problem with drawing a line is you have no credibility if you don't hold it. On the other hand, you can 'define' not in your life as you wish....maybe you want to define that as not seeing her in person.
Ok, well, on another note, I have a new job already. Getting fired was an eye opener, but i have a lot of experience in my field and to be honest, i am in high demand. The old owner of my company sent out 10 emails for me and i got 7 interviews with-in hours. So I have a job. I am taking this as a fresh start for my life. I am rebuilding a life for me. the new job will be very close in wage and the incentives are alot better. Oh and the best part, instead of running an entire company, i get to run 1 crew and and use my expertise. So i lost my job and alot of stress.
Now i can start rebuilding my life the way I want to. So I am actually excited about the new position which starts jan.3. so i have some time to re group and get my head screwed on.
Sorry about the name dbmod. sometimes you just get typing and forget.
Thanks for all the encouragement from everyone. I am almost through the book and I am feeling the change with-in myself. Maybe losing my job was the real kick in the ars that i needed to really focus.
DBMOD, Just so you know, the name you deleted was a famous Hockey Player who founded a coffee empire here in Canada. So it wasnt a name of a person, but a name of a coffee shop that any canadian is hooked on from birth!
