I'm glad you are having positives: had a few days with no arguments with h on the drop off and pickups,
And this is great for the PMA!
wore my new clothes, he did not say anything, always have my hair and makeup done
You have learned that 'setting boundaries' isn't working in your situation. You need a new approach. Look at the power packaging thread, and really do the work listed.
What motivates your husband? Does he like to be asked his opinion. You mentioned he walked in the room so he could be 'seen'. Why do you think that is?
